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avatar bourbonpens 24 day.ago

Women always called me ugly until they learned how much money I have.

After that, they called me ugly and poor.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggy!

2. A failure to follow BASIC instructions

She gives him this order: "I need you to go to the grocery store and pick up 10 eggs, while you are there I need you to get 20 bags of bread and I need you to get two gallons of milk. also, if you can then go to Subway which is 13 minutes away and bring back two sandwiches for lunch and some popcorn. After that you can return here" He never came back home.

3. I am looking to find a medical procedure to increase the size of my hands…

…so I reached out to my doctor about getting a hand job.

4. Yo mama so skinny, she went a Halloween party without a costume, and everyone thought she was Jack Skellington

5. My son was telling me a joke about Communism, but he was taking too long

I told him to quit Stalin and get to the punchline already

6. Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back for seconds

7. The Conclave just decided the next pope will be a rodent

it will be the papal new guinea!

8. What’s the difference between lawyers and criminals?

One of them can’t seem to pass the bar.

9. Confucius Say:

Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run alongside Tesla get disappointed

10. I became a cop in this old town where no one lives and rarely anything happens

So my mom called me and asked me if i liked the new job and i said "no complains"

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